Daily Reflection

2 Timothy 1:5
(A Talk to Laity Council, Catholic Diocese of Nsukka)

By Rev Fr Samson Ejiofor Asadu
IntroductionFrom sociological and anthropological perspective, the origins of the marriage institution are as obscure as the origins of the human race itself. Certainly, both started sometimes and somewhere. In prehistoric and ancient cultures, the structure of this sexual fellowship varied considerably according to general social conditions: monogamy, or polygamy (polygyny, polyandry, group marriage etc). Whether marriage began with an original pair or otherwise is not sociologically known with certainty. However, from the point of view of Christian revelation, the Almighty himself is the author of marriage. He created humankind as men and women (Gen. 1:27) and implanted in human nature the urge for reproduction. He made known his plan by blessing them thus: “Increase and multiply and fill the earth”. (Gen 1:28). By the virtue of the divine mandate, “a man leaves his father and mother and is attached to his wife and with her becomes one flesh”. (Gen. 2:2 cf Mt. 19:4-6, Eph.5:31 -32). Relying on Divine Revelation, the Catholic Church, therefore, sees marriage as a life-long indissoluble union between one man and one woman which has been raised to the dignity of a sacrament by Christ the Lord.

The Catholic Church’s Understanding of Marriage
The Church describes the marriage institution as:

The matrimonial covenant by which a man and a women establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of sacrament between the baptized”  

Thus, marriage is a legitimate, perpetual and exclusive union of a man and a woman arising from their mutual consent. For this reason, marriage demands the fullest and most perfect agreement between the parties especially where religion is concerned. Contrariwise, the line between souls weakens or they drift apart when they cease to be one in mind and heart with regard to the ultimate and highest values of religious truth and sentiments  

The Example of the Family of Timothy
A man and a woman united in marriage, together with their children form a family. Timothy, like most of us, grew up in the context of a family. Though not so clear, it is believed that in the first missionary journey of St Paul (Cf. Acts 14:8-21), he found lodging in Timothy’s home at Lystra. This suggestion is based on the fact that St Paul knew very well about the faith  and devotion of Timothy’s mother, Eunice and of his grandmother, Lois (2 Tim. 1:5). Timothy must have been so small then that no mention was made of him. However, in Paul’s second visit to Lystra, Timothy became prominent (Cf. Acts 16:1-3). Though Timothy was young, there were such devotion, charm and enthusiasm in him that everyone spoke well of him. Timothy was a child of mixed marriage: his mother was a Jewess and his father was a Greek (Acts 16:1). Paul saw in him the one who was to be trained up to take up his work when his day was over. From the writings of St Paul, we understand that Timothy was a notable companion of St Paul and a great icon in the early Church.
â–ºHe was left behind with Silas at Beroea when Paul escaped to Athens (Acts 19:22)
â–ºHe was with Paul in Corinth when he wrote his letter to the Romans (Romans 16:21)
►He was Paul’s emissary to Corinth when there was trouble in that community ( 1 Cor 4:17; 16:10)
â–ºHe was with Paul when he wrote 2 Corinthians (2 Cor. 1:1, 9 )
â–ºPaul sent him to see how the Thessalonian church was faring and he was also present when Paul wrote to the Thessalonians (1 Thess. 1:1; 3:2, 6)
â–ºHe was with Paul when he wrote to the Philippians and Paul was planning to send him there as his representative (Philippians 1: 1; 2: 19)
â–ºHe was with Paul when wrote to the Colossians and also to Philemon (Col. 1:1; Philemon 1:1)

From the above, one concludes that from the second missionary journey of St Paul; Timothy was a notable companion at Paul’s side, whom Paul sent to carry out difficult jobs for him.  2 Timothy 1:5 says, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that lived first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, lives in you.” In the verse of the Scripture under consideration, Paul reminds Timothy of his family roots from which he received the first lessons on the Sacred Scriptures. This implies that no matter his advancement in the sacred science, the foundation was laid in his family by his mother and grandmother. His ecclesiastical office notwithstanding, he should always remember that he is walking in a fine creedal heritage: Lois transmitted the faith to Eunice and Eunice handed it on to Timothy. The handing on of Judaism was also fundamentally based on the family up bring. Moses could only know he was a Jew because of what his mother taught him; otherwise he could have regarded himself as a prince of Egypt. The passage in question, therefore, points to the importance of the family in the process of handing on of any religious belief, in this case, Christianity. In this context of a Pauline epistolary greetings, the author asserts, therefore, that the faith of both Paul and Timothy depends on chains of tradition reaching back even to the faith of Israel (Cf. Acts 24: 14-15; 26:6). This chain of tradition, as could also be seen in Titus 1:4-5, exemplifies how the faith is properly handed on (Cf. 2 Tim. 3:14-15).  In all this, the family is the cradle of creedal propagation. This must have informed the theme given to me: HANDING ON THE FAITH IN THE FAMILY
The Importance of the family
The family is the cell of both ecclesial and social life. The family may, therefore, be regarded as the cradle of both the church and the civil society, and it is in great measure within the circle of family life that the destiny of states, (secular and ecclesiastical) is fostered. The Catholic Church asserts with undiluted clarity, “Authority, stability and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honour God and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in the society.”  It an intimate realization of the life of faith, as Blessed John Paul II taught, “The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesial communion, and for this reason it can and should be called a domestic church.”  For the primordial as well as the pivotal position of the family for the Church and the society at large, one may poignantly make the following assertions:

If we live in a family where there is love, we learn to love other;
If we live in a family where there is sharing, we learn to be generous, to live and share with others;
If we live in a family where there is honesty and fairness, we learn to love truth and justice;
If we live in a family where there is serenity, we learn to live in peace and harmony.
If we live in a family where there is praise, we learn how to show appreciation;
If we live in a family where there is tolerance, we learn to be patient;
Conversely:
If we live in a family where there is criticism, we learn to condemn;
If we live in a family where there is hatred and rancour, we learn how to quarrel with everybody we encounter;
If we live in a family where there is hostility, we learn how to fight;

The family then is a privileged community called to achieve a “sharing of thought and common deliberation by the spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the children’s upbringing.”

The Parents as the First Teachers of Their Children
 The Catholic Church understands marriage as, an exclusive exchange of consent aimed at the good of the spouses and their children. This implies that the fecundation of the conjugal life is not merely reduced to the expression of mutual love; nor is it reduced to the procreation of children. It is also and essentially extended to the secular, moral and spiritual formation of the children. The council Fathers taught that the parents through whom God brought the children into the world have the gravest obligation of educating them. They are principally and primarily responsible for an integrated, personal and social education of their children.  “The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute.”  Above all, in the Christian family, children should be taught to know and worship God and to love their neighbour, in accordance with the faith which they have received in earliest infancy in the sacrament of Baptism. The parents are the bedrock of the family on which depends the formation of the children and the society at large. Thus, the family is not only about handing on of faith but about the integral formation of the child. However, we are concerned here with the handing on of faith. In this regard, I would like to quote the Catechism of the Catholic Church at length:
“Through the grace of the sacrament of marriage, parents receive the responsibility and the privilege of evangelising their children. Parents should initiate their children at an early age into the mysteries of the faith of which they are the “first herald” for their children. They should associate them from their tenderest years with the life of the Church. A wholesome family life can foster interior dispositions that are a genuine preparation for a living faith and remain a support for it throughout one’s life. Education in the faith by the parents should begin in the child’s earliest years. This already happens when the family members help one another to grow in faith by the witness of a Christian life in keeping with the Gospel. Family catechesis precedes, accompanies and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God.”  Therefore, in handing on of the faith in the family, “parents should welcome and respect with joy and thanksgiving the Lord’s call to one of their children to follow him in virginity for the sake of the Kingdom in the consecrated life or in priestly ministry.”  To ensure that the handing on of the faith is not truncated by external influence, especially in their early years, parents have the right to choose schools for their children.  Do we really hand on the faith in the family?

Take the following tips from observations of your children:
1.    Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all that I ask for. I am only testing you.
2.    Don’t afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it; it makes me feel more secure and more assured that you want me to be better
3.    Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages
4.    Don’t correct me in public if you can. I will take much more notice if you talk to me in private
5.    Don’t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf
6.    Don’t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you would notice that I stop asking and seek the information I want elsewhere
7.    Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover you are not. By knowing how to acknowledge your own failings to us your children, you will be better able to guide and correct us.
8.    Don’t ever think it is beneath your dignity to apologise to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm towards you
9.    Don’t forget I love experimenting. I couldn’t get on without it. So please put up with it
10.    Remember that you are prone to give me everything except the one thing I need most. That is time: time for listening, time for understanding, time for helping and time for guiding me. It sounds simple, but in reality it is most difficult, and the most sacrificial task of parenthood.
11.    Do not forget that at my early years, I learn mainly by observation, so be careful what you do before me

From parents to their children
 The divine fatherhood of God is the origin of the human fatherhood. This is the basis of which children ought to have for their parents. It is a kind of gratitude to those who cooperated with God, by their gift of life, their love and their work have brought them up. Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience to the parents by their children. Since with this obedience and docility, the fulfilment of the responsibility of the parents will bear little or no fruits, it is proper that the children, whether minor or adults should take note following observations of their parents:
a.    Remember what I passed through to bring you up. Do not call me a witch or wizard, if I were one, I would have killed you when you were completely helpless and totally dependent on me
b.    When you work hard and do well, I am always proud of you. This makes me feel happier and healthier. Do not be lazy please
c.    Always respect and honour me. Listen to my pieces of advice; I have more experiences than you. It would do you good to heed my advice
d.    Don’t forget that as we suffer to train you today, we expect that you don’t abandon us in our old age. Remember you will be old too.
e.    When you go out into the larger society, do not forget or throw overboard what we taught you here, they remain ever valid for you
f.    Always rely on God, one with God is the majority and if God is with you, no one can be against you.
g.    Seek my advice especially when you are in difficulties. Feel free sharing your experiences with me. I may scold you but I will not stop at scolding you, I will proffer solutions to the best of my ability. Remember I may have experienced same before you were born and my experiences will help you
The Danger of Mixed Marriage and Disparity of Cult Marriage to the Catholic Faith of the Children
For fear of defection from the catholic faith, the Church “takes with utmost seriousness its obligation to guard the faith of both the marriage partners and of their Children. It does its best to ensure that Catholics marry Catholics”.  For the Church, therefore, the ideal marriage is that between baptized Catholics of the opposite sex.
However, the society is not composed of persons who hold a homogenous religious belief. In fact, the society is not only heterogeneously religious, but the dignity of the human person makes it imperative for every person to freely follow his own conviction and no one is to be forced to convert to any particular religious confession  Catholics, as members of the pluralistic society, live together, side by side, with others of different beliefs. In our own time, marriage begins as a natural reality, a union of two persons in love which has its roots in the associations of persons in the society. There are now few cases of arranged marriages. It is this natural union that Christ the Lord raised to the dignity of a sacrament. Since marriage begins from the associations of men and women in the pluralistic society. It is possible and also a reality, for a Catholic to contract marriage with a person of another religious confession. The Church herself is not oblivious of the very possibility and in fact, the increasing number of such marriages due to some factors in this day societies:
Nowadays there is more frequent contract between Catholics and non-Catholics many of whom share a common life-style and customs. Friendship can develop more easily among them and it is a fact of experience that mixed marriages become more common.  
From the very beginning of Christianity, the Church has always been concerned about such marriages. Apart from the heterogeneous constitution of the society, the existence of a greater number of women than men in our society has made choice of a partner within one’s confession of faith a difficult one. In this patriarchal society of ours, mixed marriage/disparity of cult marriage remains the single most significant and decisive factor to the Catholic party’s (especially the female partner’s) change of his/her Christian confession. Thus, the permission for mixed/disparity of cult marriage by the church could rightly be described as a concession due to the hardness of heart or intractable situations. According to Pope Paul VI, such marriage introduces certain divisions and diversities in matters of religion (especially with regard to those matters which concern Christian worship and the education of children) into the living cell of the church, namely the family.  

Conclusion
Becoming a disciple of the Jesus the Lord implies an invitation to live according to the divine law and thereby become a member of God’s family, in that, whoever does the will of the Father is the mother, brother or sister of Jesus. This family of God is represented by the Christian family. The preface of marriage says that in Christian marriage, God unites two orders of creation: the order of nature by which humans are brought forth to populate the world and the order of grace by which through baptism, the same persons are admitted into God’s family and ultimately into heaven. Let us then pray that the family may reflect the true image ordained by God.
●God, our universal Father, make our homes:
â–ºWhere strife is shut out and love is shut in and yet extended;
â–ºPlaces where the small are great and the great are small;
â–ºPlaces where though we may grumble most but receive the best treatment;
â–ºPlaces of Centre of affection; where though we may disagree but never quarrel;
â–ºPlaces where our stomachs get three square meals but especially and most importantly, where our souls get a thousand square meals a day;
●So that following the model of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, we may at the end of our pilgrimage come to join Christ the Lord who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen!